He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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