You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
