My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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