I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
