you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
