yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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