oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
