The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
