OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
