I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
