the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
