I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
