My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
you made out with another girl for some wings
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
