why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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