I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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