If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Randomize
