There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i love accidental penises.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
