Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
as a side note pls kill me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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