I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize