turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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