Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
