you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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