He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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