Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
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everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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