I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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