I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
