need another drink. this is the easiest way
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
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I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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