she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm at about main and main street
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
