Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
