Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
