my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm just crazy horny about you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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