I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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