If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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