I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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