Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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