He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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