we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
