Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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