Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
