I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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