You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
