You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's rum buckets o'clock
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
