thus making me awesome and them whores
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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