smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Randomize
