but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
