I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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