I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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