Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
