The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think my vagina is haunted
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
