my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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