I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So squirting runs in the family.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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