Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
