I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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