who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
