Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
