if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
