Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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