just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
